Gloria’s farewell

‘Aquino means well, and he means to do what is right. He has to keep his sacred bond with his parent’s memory.’

PERRY Diaz, the Fil-Am journalist who regularly gives internet users his Global Balita, has come out with a regaling tale about a document found under the mattress of the First Couple’s bed. A note was attached to the document, saying: "To be published after I step down".

Tomorrow, she will step down, and as we all await Benigno S. Aquino’s first formal address as the new president of the benighted land, let me publish in this space Perry’s "Adios", hopefully ultimo, allegedly by Gloria (with a little editing).

Farewell, my Inang Bayan, land of the morning sun,

Pearl of the Orient Sea, Paradise lost.

With gladness I gave you my life,

With sadness I leave you now.

I made a lot of promises,

Some of which I kept.

I promised to end poverty,

But in the end, the poor are eating pagpag.

I promised to stop corruption,

But in the end, power corrupted me.

I promised to end the communist insurgency,

But in the end, Delfin Bangit failed to end it.

I promised to create jobs,

But in the end, 3,000 Filipinos leave everyday to look for jobs abroad.

I promised to end the deficit,

But in the end, I left Noynoy with a P340 billion deficit.

I wish I was more honest,

But instead I became too greedy.

I wish I had served the interest of the people better,

But instead I served my own best interests.

I wish I listened to my critics,

But instead I listened to my husband, Mike.

I tried to improve the economy,

But instead only the oligarchs and my friends benefited from it.

I tried to govern with integrity, credibility, and accountability,

But instead the people called me the "Most Corrupt President in Philippine History."

I asked the people what they want,

And they said, "Return the money you stole."

I asked the people to give me another chance to make good my promises,

But they said, "Alis dyan!"

I dreamed of transforming the country into an enchanted kingdom in 20 years,

But the people said, "No way, that’s too long for you to stay in power. Go away!"

I wanted to amend the constitution by way of a people’s initiative to stay in power,

But Justice Antonio Carpio penned a ruling rejecting the people’s initiative petition.

I wanted to change the constitution by way of a Constituent Assembly,

But Cory Aquino passed away and nobody would dare change her constitution.

I planned to stay in power by other means,

But Defense Secretary Norberto Gonzales bungled the job.

I put up my own candidate for president,

But my "kiss of death" killed Gibo Teodoro’s candidacy.

When Gibo appeared to be losing I supported another candidate secretly,

But the media discovered it and exposed my "secret candidate," Villarroyo.

I appointed 250 midnight appointees,

Hoping that they’ll be there when I needed them.

I appointed a Chief Justice, midnight style,

Hoping that he’ll be kind to me when my plunder cases reach the Supreme Court.

I promoted the government lawyers and made their jobs permanent and secure,

Hoping that they’d be indebted to me and kinder when they’re prosecuting me.

I got all the bases covered,

Including a castle in Portugal where I can go to exile if I have to.

And now the end is near,

With heavy heart I leave thee, my Inang Bayan.

I lived a life that’s full,

I had fun spending P3 billion in 107 foreign junkets.

Regrets I’ve had a few,

My biggest regret is that I failed to stay in power longer.

I bit off more than I could chew,

However, I enjoyed every bit of it (especially dining at Le Cirque).

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried,

And I’ll miss all the games I played with the generals.

And now as tears subside,

I’m glad I survived it all.

The record shows I took the blows,

But I hit back with all my strength.

For what is a woman what has she got,

If not her moolah then she has none.

And so I face the final curtain,

I say this to all my enemies – to hell with you all!

Yes! I did it my way.

Oooh…oooh…Let history go hang.

***

Tomorrow the nation will witness, for the first time in twelve years, a duly-elected, a truly-elected president being sworn-in. The speech, as announced, will be short. This after all is not a man given to empty eloquence. But they will be words straight from his heart. He means well, and he means to do what is right. He has to keep his sacred bond with his parent’s memory.

Sure, he may falter in the way of fulfilling everybody’s great expectations. Rome was not in a night built. Rebuilding shattered institutions takes time and plodding patience. Renewing the public trust in governance so badly run will also take time. But let us keep the faith. For as long as the new president keeps his personal integrity intact, and exacts the same from the men and women he appoints to office, the new beginning will find a happy ending.

(banayo_at@yahoo.com)

LITO BANAYO

MALAYA Column for Tuesday, 29 June 2010